**
**

Due to the enormous workload involved in physics classes
combined with stress and lack of sleep, physics students often forget (either by
accident, defense mechanism, or intentionally) what their major really is. Thus,
as a physics major, I took it upon myself to create a small list of indicators
to help us all remember what we really are.

**YOU MIGHT BE A PHYSICS MAJOR...**

- if you have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically.
- if you enjoy pain.
- if you know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.
- if you chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force."
- if you've actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.
- if when you look in a mirror, you see a physics major.
- if it is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.
- if you always do homework on Friday and Saturday nights.
- if you know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water.
- if you think in "math."
- if you've calculated that the World Series actually diverges.
- if you hesitate to look at something because you don't want to break down its wave function.
- if you have a pet named after a scientist.
- if you laugh at jokes about mathematicians.
- if the Humane society has you arrested because you actually performed the Schrodinger's Cat experiment.
- if you can't remember what's behind the door in the science building which says "Exit."
- if you have to bring a jacket with you, in the middle of summer, because there's a wind-chill factor in the lab.
- if you are completely addicted to PhysLink.com.
- if you avoid doing anything because you don't want to contribute to the eventual heat-death of the universe.
- if you consider ANY non-science course "easy."
- if when your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.
- if the "fun" center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.
- if you'll assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to make the math easier.
- if you understood more than five of these indicators.
- if you make a hard copy of this list, and post it on your door.

If these indicators apply to you, there is good reason to suspect that you might be classified as a physics major. I hope this clears up any confusion.