Some days you just can’t win… Yesterday I was driving back from my parent’s house to lovely Davidsonland and things just kept going awry.

First off, I had been forced to clean my truck to remove the kindly gifts from six birds before they became part of the paint. During this process, I decided to apply Rain-X Anti-Fog to the inside of my windshield, since normal Rain-X has served me very well in the past. I don’t think my windshield has ever fogged up so much before, and for no discernible reason. It was 65 degrees Fahrenheit! Stupid crap…

I always stop at the same gas station to top off my tank, use the restroom, and get a beverage. I stop there going both from school and to school. I stopped yesterday, topped off the tank, and scampered contentedly inside to relieve myself. Lo and behold, there were stepladders lying across the entryway to the restrooms with hand printed "out of order" signs taped onto them.

Feeling the pressure starting to build, I grabbed a litre of Mt. Dew from the cold case and went up to pay. Some trucker was having trouble remembering his company number (I’m not clear on the technicalities, I don’t know how truckers pay for gas) and I danced from foot to foot patiently for the minute or two it took to resolve the problem.

Once I had signed the credit card slip, I went back outside and put the Dew in the cooler next to me. Giving Brin a scratch on the belly, I sped off down the interstate. The fifteen miles between my gas station and the next rest area caused an exponential increase in the pressure in my bladder. When I finally trotted up to the urinal, I think I dented the porcelain with the blast of urine I unleashed.

Ready to return to my journey, I strapped myself back behind the wheel and headed on down the highway. Once I reached cruising speed, I slid the sweet, caffeinated nectar from the cooler and grasped the oversized cap.

Twisting the cap did not result in the usual hiss, but a surreal shredding of plastic and explosion of yellow liquid that would do any special effects artist proud. The neck of the bottle gave way and the soda burst from the bottle, spraying my neck and face as well as my window, windshield, and dashboard. I think Brin and her travel cage caught a little of it, too.

After that, any other problems encountered during the trip would pale. I got stuck behind some jerk going 15 below the limit once I got off the highway and somebody would come by going the other direction whenever there was a passing lane, big deal. Nothing beats the Dew incident.

I should probably get some sleep if I’m going to return to my school schedule tomorrow. Not to mention, tomorrow I want to put up the Justice page. I’m sure he’ll appreciate it.

Push, push!

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