Is Hollywood so desperate for ideas that they settle for GARBAGE like "Daddio" and "Battery Park?" Sweet Jesus, those were horrible premiers! I sat through them because I wanted to give them a fair chance after the lackluster previews that were on the TV for weeks, but from now on… I’d rather set myself on fire than sit through another episode of either of those shows.
I guess I should say that I’d rather set myself on fire again.
A friend of mine just had a baby. Well, his wife did. I was in the same high school class as this guy! When did we get old enough to have kids? Please, dear God, don’t let his kid grow up to be one of those stupid people… I’d hate to be a psuedo-uncle to a moron; I’d have to stifle the desire to smack her in the head way too often.
When did fourteen year old girls become the most sought after demographic in this fucking country? I’m so sick of all the rancid crap aimed at these kids. It is total fluff. These little beauty queens with triple-tracked voices singing songs that they had no creative hand in whatsoever are all the same. The songs are either ambiguous as hell or they are about eternal love and sex. Jailbait shouldn’t look like they’re twenty-two, shake their surgically enhanced breasts, and make all other young girls feel inadequate. Yet, they’re freaking heroines to these little ladies!
Don’t get me started on the boy bands… The Backdoor Boys, NCrap, 98Variatons of the Same Song, and all those other sound-alikes should be bundled into a van and driven off a cliff by Jesse Camp. I’m still pissed that the pre-teen idiots voted that guy in as a VJ on M "we forgot to play music!" TV. The prep-school dropout stole Pauly Shore’s act and made it even less funny and more grating! "The Wea-sahl" should have come back on the show just to have a steel-cage grudge match to the death with that jack-off.
I don’t enjoy being pissed off. I don’t go out and look for this shit, but everywhere I turn I’m confronted with the decline of the intellectual life of this great land. Kids are so easily led by marketing campaigns disguised as musical acts, people of all ages are watching the so-called professional wrestling shows like they were mapping the path to the Fountain of Youth. Shit, if you want to find that, just follow Dick Clark and Casey Kasum when they sneak into the Florida Everglades. Ponce dé Leon told us it was there, and those two immortals found it.
I digress. Nobody wants to think anymore. Don’t you realize that USING OUR MINDS is what got our race where we are? Sure, humans have fucked up the planet a hell of a lot, but we’ve managed to survive through adverse conditions that our pathetically maladapted bodies should have perished in. We need to advance further to sustain ourselves, and sloughing the responsibility off on the ubiquitous "somebody else" just won’t cut it. We have to come up with ideas and enhancements to current processes to save the fucking planet, save us from these diseases we’re passing around…
Instead of watching Springer and thinking, "At least I’m not as dumb as this poor white trash," take a look outside and think for a while. Figure out a way to make the world a better place. You don’t have to save the world, just figure out a way to make the next day better for somebody else. Baby steps, people, baby steps.
The material on this page is not endorsed, Sponsored, Provided, or on behalf of Davidson College.